Sorry for the late thread, folks. I just returned from a weekend of work in the woods--cleaning chimneys, splitting firewood, and throwing out a year's accumulation of junk at my folks place in the Adirondacks. It was a great, long weekend. And, as I was performing various woodsy jobs up there, I was thinking about how competent--or more often, how incompetent--I felt doing these tasks. For instance, I'm much more competent at stacking wood than I am at cutting it or splitting it. Working as part of a team this weekend necessitated that I was able to "see" my weaknesses and get out of the way when I wasn't helping matters. This feeling--of sorting out what you can and can't do WHILE YOU ARE DOING IT--reminded me of being a beginning teacher and feeling this way all the time.
As I think about last week's seminar and the questions you asked in class, and as I think about where you all are, in this fourth week of student teaching, in terms of your teacher development, this is where I land:
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 representing a shy, nervous public persona and 10 representing a confident, authoritative persona, where would you place yourself as a teacher right at this point in time? What are some anecdotes or stories from your early teaching experiences to demonstrate why you placed yourself THERE on the continuum?
Now that your students are somewhat settled, now that you are all taking over your own classes, and now that I am setting up dates for the first round of observations, you should turn your attention to your teacher persona, to your command of the classroom, and to your ability to reach and connect with your students.
I look forward to reading what you have to say this week.
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Ok - I just finished talking to Steve today fusing an analogy from seminar branching off an analogy he used in class the other day. He was talking about "character actors" in a way different from my own understanding - he was saying a character actor is someone who doesn't play lead roles, and used Morgan Freeman as an example - specifically, "You wouldn't see Morgan Freeman playing some action/adventure spy." And yesterday we discussed "acting," that you need to put on a performance - to know what you want from your audience, and know how to give it to them; to "sell" your lesson, but at a more essential and perhaps subliminal level, yourself.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, I've found that Steve has his role pretty darn well defined with these kids, and it's tough when they're used to watching these fascist propoganda reels (it's not that bad! I swear! Just hyperbole for effect!) and then I sweep in with my quirky indie short-film with no soundtrack. They just don't know what they're supposed to (or -allowed to-) do.
So, I'm finding that when I have to step into "teacher role," the way it's been established and defined for me by my predecessor, is very like putting on Steve's clothes...I look like a total moron trying to pass myself off as a clown. Well, not really, but it certainly doesn't "fit" me. And I haven't been able to establish myself - my style and my expectations - with the kids, so they don't know what's expected of them in reaction to me. So it's really hard to try and Frankenstein these two very opposing styles of lesson and instruction, because it ends up exactly like Frankenstein (well, obviously, no one dies - but it's a bit of a monstrous abomination nonetheless).
I'm sure it's not that bad, it just kinda feels that way, but more and more I'm realizing how my gut was right about focusing my first lesson away from content and into our identities: our roles as teacher and student, and establishing our collective social conduct. So, I feel good and bad about my experience thus far; but most importantly, I feel hopeful.
Manda,
ReplyDeleteI love the way you've ended this post. Thank you. In the end, hope is the key ingredient in a teacher's life.
It sounds to me like you are ready to flap your own wings and to fly solo. It is very difficult to teach cooperatively with someone who has a worldview--and world "stance"--that is much, much different from your own. And, you're right--it confuses the students more than anything. It also reminds them of archetypal parents--the "tough love" father and the "nurturing" mother--and may be confusing in that way, too.
On a critical level, it's interesting to think about the thought processes of a teacher who is all about the "tough love." When I ask my beginning teaching students to write about powerful teachers in their lives, they inevitably end up writing about the "tough" teacher who was really hard on them but who, in the end, taught them so much. We often end up discussing this very thing: Does the fascist teacher have a more powerful impact than the "nice" teacher? Why are the "hard" teachers more memorable than the "nice" ones? Is it better to be nice, tough, or both? How can a teacher strike a balance?
I find this FASCINATING! There's perception...and, then there's perception. You know?
But, your struggles are real, and I don't mean to diminish them here. Thank you for sharing your story with us--
I am finding it funny that I was so worried about discipline in my classroom. It is not so bad, in fact it may be one of the things that I am good at (go figure). I am getting to feel more comfortable with my leadership role but one of my classes presents a challenge. Nothing major, just talking when they're not supposed to and asking to go to the bathroom, bubbler, office, locker, library, so and so's classroom, the computer room, and finally, after I say no to all those things, they ask to go to the nurse. I feel like telling them to ask to go the nurse first so we don't waste all that time. I am kidding of course because I already opened a can of woop-ass on them about leaving my classroom so they know better. But seriously, I am looking forward to winning them over and fooling them into learning. I may have to take a few girls aside and massage their egos while at the same time deflating their egos if you all know what I mean. I feel confident that I can handle it with aplomb (I love that word and use it anytime I can). I am also challenged in the time management department. Sometimes I think that things will take longer so I am left with like 15 minutes before the bell and I begin to panic in my mind. It is funny how the kids don't know that behind my calm facade is a desperate sweaty lunatic. They actually think I know what I'm doing (HaHa). Because of this I am learning to pad my lessons and be okay if I don't get to everything because it is so much better than not being prepared. I could write forever but I think that I am done babbling now and I apologize because I'm exhausted and sick and on cold meds.
ReplyDeleteOh, I don't feel equipped to rate myself on an authoritative scale just yet but I do feel very confident that I am in control of my classroom.
P.S. I need to come up with a way to play family feud. I am not sure how make the "Top People Surveyed" board. I am open to any and all ideas!
When it comes to working with the students one on one or in small groups I would give myself an 8 on this “authority scale”. It’s so much easier for me to work with them individually and I feel way more confident when I don’t have to have the whole class’ eyes on me.
ReplyDeleteWith the sophomore class, I’d give myself a 6 – and I do think I’m getting better with each class. I feel like I’ve gotten to know the students (and vice versa) enough to feel confident being myself in front of them. My problem is dealing with trying to remember the point of my lesson while doing it, worrying about whether or not the kids are learning ANYTHING, quieting people down, making sure I’ll have enough time, thinking about my assessment for the lesson, the constant requests for the bathroom, talking to the girls who are so worried about their grades that they ask me to proofread EVERYTHING they do – there are just so many things to think about and try to have some control over that I get too overwhelmed to give myself anything higher than a 6 for now.
I’m officially “taking over” the senior class on Monday, so we’ll see how that goes. I worked with them once when Michael was absent and a few times on an individual basis so I’m not exactly sure how I’ll be when I have to begin doing real lessons with them. I’m nervous because there are 3 ESL students who have a hard time speaking English (although apparently their reading and writing skills are better) and I don’t know, yet, how to alter my lessons so that they don’t have unnecessary obstacles and challenges. I also talked to some of the kids on Friday and they DEFINITELY see me more as a possible friend than a teacher so I’m a little worried about how to change that. As of now, with the seniors, I’ll give myself a 3.
I've been teaching the junior class for a little over a week now. At first, the kids were fine, a little chatty, but nothing I couldn't handle. But then, I had them for the long period (lunch). Before lunch, they were listening and taking notes, but then when they came back, they were off the wall with noise. I can't talk over them, because that doesn't do them or me any favors; in fact, it turns me into a yeller, which I'm not by nature, and it shows them that I can't really get a handle on the class or myself for that matter. I suppose I'm in the middle of the scale right now. As far as keeping them occupied, it's not going too well; it's partly my fault because I've bombarded them with notes. Once we get reading the play, I think things will go better. And as far as structuring my assignments/quizzes/etc., I think I'm doing pretty well. I flipped through Andrea's binder of Macbeth materials, and I found some things I liked and other things that I tried to make my own. Dr. Cook, I'm looking over the Shakespeare book you let me borrow, and I'm finding some good stuff in there. I'm just hoping that I'll have enough time to do some activities with the kids, give them assessments, and read the entire before the semester is over! Some days, I feel that I will get everything done, and other days I think, "Get a move on!" After Act I, I'll see where I have to speed up and see how the students are doing with what I want them to do. I want them to love this play; they're already intrigued by how gruesome many of the characters are.
ReplyDeleteOn a scale of 1 to 10, I would rate my “teacher persona” at an 7 for being on my way to being “a confident and authoritative” teacher. Handling the classroom management of high school age students was one of my biggest fears coming into this semester. I felt at home last semester in the middle school classroom. It seemed like second nature to me to redirect students in sixth grade. High school was a different story. I didn’t quite know how I would get teenagers to listen to me.
ReplyDeleteSince this semester has begun, I have been observing, helping, and co-teaching the students with Fred. So, by the time I took over the 9th grade class last Monday, I had already gotten a chance to know the students. I was still worried though, because this was a particularly chatty group. I did an intro and conclusion clinic for them on Monday and I had to squelch chatter a few times, but not too much. On Tuesday, the students were supposed to have rough drafts so they could do peer editing. Several students had emailed copies to Fred, so he took them down to the lab to print. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I WAS ALONE IN THE ROOM AS THE TEACHER! They got chatty immediately. They were doing partner work so talking was okay (if it was with the partner and it was on task). I warned that they needed to quite down and stay on task, speaking briefly to the few individuals who were causing the biggest problems. This worked for about 2 minutes. Then one girl just started talking again, blatantly, to a girl who was trying to work silently on her draft. What happened next surprised me. I just said, “Jessica, I already warned you once about the talking. This is not okay. I have a job to do. I won’t allow this.” I was not yelling. I was just firm and authoritative. The great thing is, I didn’t even really have to think first, I just reacted! It didn’t make me nervous. It didn’t make me angry. It just made sense. It felt natural. The whole class became more focused after that. I had to redirect other kids a few more times, I even had to move a few students around, but it was just casual maintenance.
So I thought this was progress. They were listening when I redirected. The next day we were sharing essays and I had to stop a student at least once while a classmate was reading using a non-verbal cue. I also verbally quieted students several times while we were having whole group discussion afterward. It just seemed like too much management to have to deal with. So I decided that when they came in the next day, I was going to through in a game-changer.
I redid the whole seating chart (they had picked their own seats in the beginning of the school year.) I wrote their names on post-its and as they entered the classroom I just said, “I changed the seat so find the seat with your name on it.” It was incredibly smooth with only a few muffled grumbles. Jessica said to me, “This can’t be real!” I said, “It’s real.” After they were all seated in their new seats I addressed the class briefly and told them, “It’s not about who was talking and who wasn’t. The old seats were not working, that’s all. I can guarantee that when I was in 9th grade, if I had been sitting next to my best friend, I would have talked to her; it’s not about me being angry. It’s my job to make sure things are working in this classroom so I changed the seats, it’s that simple.” With the chatty kids nicely buffered by the quiet kids, my classroom was, incredibly, much more attentive. We had a great and productive class!
So, on Friday morning, Kathryn and I were chatting a little about the subject of this blog, and I was confidently musing that I felt I was at a pretty high level when it comes to being confident and authoritative in the classroom...yeah, and then period 6 rolled around Friday afternoon. Period 6 is my CP class, full of 27 seniors, not all of which are bound for college, so they are just kind of there. They are chatty on a normal day, often resulting a a reminder or two about quieting down, but when they meet last period on a Friday...OMG, I wanted to cry. Now, honestly, I don't blame them for being the way they were...it was hot as HELL on Friday, it's the last period of the week and they just want to go home. I did too...but at the same time, this day was actually the start of the lesson about how to read comics. They had to listen, they had to take notes, they have a quiz on Monday.
ReplyDeleteWhatever, it wasn't a disastrous class, but it definitely didn't go as I had planned, and I have to continue tomorrow.
So, now, I would say that I am at a 7 when it comes to confidence and authoritative-ness during any period except for when period 6 meets end of the day on Fridays. I will be figuring out the remainder of the days so that I can prepare in advance for another Friday like that. On those days, (or at least on this past Friday) I feel at about a 5. Not great, but I'm assuming it'll get better.
As I sit and reflect on my student teaching experience this far I realize I have come a long way since teaching in the high school during practicum last year, BUT I still have so much more to learn. If I had to rate my level of confidence in the classroom I would have to give myself a 6. I feel like I am right around the middle, which from last year is a huge improvement. My voice is still apart of my teaching that needs to be defined. Janine suggested that over the weekend my homework is to go to an open field and just scream! Pulling my voice up from my toes. When I’m in class with the students I have to tell them two or three times to quiet down if they are talking. My goal is to be able to say it once and have them refocus their attention back to my direction. Voice is such a big part of “teacher persona” and I feel as if once I am able find my voice I will be able to enter the classroom and show the students who the sheriff is in town. I never want to be known as the teacher who yells. I admire Dr. Cooks approach to settling down her class by speaking calmly and at a reasonable level. Maybe because we are college students it is more effective but I refuse to be a “yeller”. It may sound crazy but I feel as if my teacher presence increases when I wear my glasses. I don’t know why it’s just a thought! I do know that being placed in a high school will help my overall “teacher persona” as I enter the middle school. The students in the high school look at me as one of their peers so it is harder to define my authority, which challenges my teacher persona. The middle school students will look at me with more authority and by the time I enter the middle school my voice will be more established then it is now.
ReplyDeleteI think that sometimes the high school kids look to us more as peers because we're not much older than they are. It creates a problem for me, since my voice is soft, and even some of the kids in the eleventh grade class know it and are more respectful that I have things for them to do. I think, too, that once we're reading the play, acting out scenes (I want them to feel what it's like to be an actor!), and doing some class activities, they'll be more involved and less likely to be off task. Tomorrow, we're going to start the play (finally!), and we'll pick up some fun stuff along the way.
ReplyDeleteSo I forgot to mention in my last post that after I re-did the seats on Friday, one of the boys took himself and his post-it and sneaked into an empty seat near his friend. The funny thing was that he was one of the main reasons that I changed the seats in the first place! And he didn't have the sense to sit quietly in his self-assigned seat, incognito so I wouldn’t be clued into his sneakiness. Well I noticed him within a minute and made him move back to the seat where he was supposed to be. I let him know that he would NOT be doing that again! Silly kid (he is actually quite sweet —just trying to test the limits as they will do). So today they all came in and sat where they were supposed to and were quiet. Now that I have whole group behavior mostly under control (for now), my next challenge is to get them to stay focused and on-task during partnered or group activities, which is still a challenge for this group. That is one thing I will be working on this week so wish me luck!
ReplyDeleteI'm excited today, because I'm going to start the actual play with the class. I found a couple of ideas from the Shakespeare lesson book that I liked. They could work well with the class, since they are vocal and might enjoy acting out the first scene in groups. I'm hoping that they get creative (I'll encourage that), and that they'll have different ways of playing out the scene. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten a hold of a copy of a film version, so I'll do that tonight and show them a couple of scenes as we go along. There's nothing like discussing the scenes and then watching that scene - it makes the play richer for the students when they can imagine what's happening, see their classmates act it out, and then watch a professional production. I think doing that will help the play come alive. First, though, we have to learn how to read the lines; I'm going to do that by having a round-robin citation and then have the students practice reading the lines on a more "professional" level. I'm hoping this cuts down on lecture (since it's dry) and that we have some good discussions and productions!
ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteI'm THRILLED to hear about the ideas you're developing. I want you to know that public television is showing the Patrick Stewart version of MacBeth on October 7 (I think). Even if you can't watch it that night, you might consider tracking down a DVD of it at your local library or at the RIC library. It's a stage production that was filmed, so it's raw and devoid of the trappings of a set or cool costumes. But, it's Patrick Stewart for God sakes! He's a knight! He's the Captain of the Enterprise!
Keep up the creative planning, and remember to build in management devices that help you create boundaries for those risktaking get-up-and-stand-in-a-circle activities!