Okay, folks. In the last few weeks, I've been intervening in various learning-to-teach situations that all involve the following themes.
Communication & Humility
I'm writing this thread in the hope that you read it, assess yourself, and start stepping up to the challenge as we move down the home stretch.
If you go back and look at the syllabus I handed out in August, you'll see that the NUMBER ONE course requirement is "Regular and Open Communication with me." I now know that it should also read: "Regular and Open communication with your cooperating teacher." I can pretty much guarantee that any problem that you've been having in your classroom that has exploded into an "issue" or "incident" is probably because you either did not communicate the problem when it was in its earliest stages OR because you didn't communicate that you were having problems in the first place, which leads me to theme #2...
Humility, or admitting fault for screwing something up. This is student teaching. No one expects you to be perfect, except for, well, YOU. No matter how much I tell you this or how much I encourage you to experiment and take risks and try on new hats that may be unfamiliar to you, there seems to be a disease spreading through our cohort that smells like perfectionism or, at least, like a lack of humility. None of us is a perfect teacher, and none of us ever will be a perfect teacher. There's no such thing. That's the point! Teachers screw up all the time, but the sign of a good, effective teacher is that (1) they know they've screwed up; (2) they aren't afraid to talk through the challenge and to seek out resources to help and, finally, (3) they aren't too proud or too scared to ask for help.
On the heels of our Job Search Workshop last night, I need to say to you that getting a job as a teacher has A LOT to do with these two themes above. It should have become really clear last night that not only do you need to learn how to communicate your strengths and weaknesses to interviewers, but that you also need to know how to communicate with lots of different people who are going to work with you in schools (and not just the ones you like). Additionally, showing humility, demonstrating a keen awareness of your need-to-work-on areas, and asking for help are also signs, to a principal or a professor, of a smart teacher. Incompetent people don't ask for help---that's why they are incompetent!
Anyway, I needed to say all of this to you, and it couldn't wait until next Tuesday. I'm asking all of you to think about yourself this week in terms of these two themes: Communication and Humility. Where are you in terms of these two "dispositions?" How are you demonstrating these dispositions to your cooperating teacher/s and to me? What do you believe about communication and humility as they relate to your Teacher Self? What goals might you set for yourself as a first-year teacher where these two qualities are concerned?
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As far as communication and humility go, I am happy with my progress so far. I am super lucky to have had a cooperating teacher in High School, and another one now in Middle School, who feel safe to communicate with and who are also approachable when it comes to work-shopping ideas, mistakes, and potential problems. Erica and I are so simpatico that communication comes more than naturally. And although Fred, with all of his quirks and issues, was NOT always easy to communicate with (points had a tendency to get lost with him), he did provide me with a super safe, supportive, and protective environment in which I could learn. Student-teaching puts us in such a vulnerable position, and having the support of a great CT is so important. Yes—a super supportive professor (Yeah for Dr. Cook!) does make us feel less vulnerable because we know we have someone important in our corner and looking out for our best interests, but we have to see and interact with our CT’s every day. While I do feel confident in my ability to communicate my strengths, weaknesses, ideas, mistakes, and needs effectively, I also feel that I have had it easy compared to some of you other girls. As far as humility goes, I guess when you are thirty-five, have four children, and the life experience that I do—humility just comes with the territory! It is a survival skill! And honestly, I think humility makes life easier, more real, and much more enjoyable. It takes of the pressure to have to be perfect or to have to have all of the answers all of the time. So I needed humility to survive—I think everyone does!But, what did take me a long time, and what I am still working on to a degree, is trying not to equate humility with vulnerability and lack of confidence. That is something I think I will never completely rid myself of, because the ideas are so naturally linked. But I think you stated it so well, Dr. Cook, when you said that none of us will ever be a perfect teacher and that smart people ask for help. So now my confidence comes partly from my ability to strip down my own ego and have the honest conversations needed to improve myself—as a wife, as a mother, as a sister, daughter, and friend—and of course now, as a teacher. Knowing that I know HOW to go about solving problems, seeking knowledge, and making improvements gives me the confidence I need to face challenges and questions without feeling too vulnerable. Also, remembering to talk myself back into this disposition on a regular basis certainly helps and will probably always be part of the process! I also limit my vulnerability by picking my confidants carefully. Surrounding yourself with good people is key for sure!! That is why groups like ours and other groups of collaborative, supportive teachers are so important. It is a safe haven for admitting weakness and asking for help. Unfortunately, teacher culture doesn’t always feel safe—and indeed our instincts that admitting vulnerability might be detrimental to us are sometimes right. So yes—I do feel good about my dispositions as far as communication and humility go, at this point in my career; but, I also acknowledge that I have had nothing but support and “safe-haven” provided to me by both of my CT’s and by all of you! So I can hardly take the credit for my disposition. At best I can say that I didn’t ruin the good thing that was provided to me. And I have to be thankful to all the other people who have been and are supportive of me in many areas of my life for allowing me the opportunity to develop the gifts of communication and humility without stomping and crushing me. Because it is a scary thing, admitting our weakness—but the result of it is renewed strength! And I know I have to remain vigilant about these issues, because dispositions are always evolving and communication, humility, vulnerability, and confidence in particular can be fragile and easily shattered. So thanks for bringing these themes to the forefront, Dr. Cook. They are important for success in teaching and in life.
ReplyDeleteI have always known that I have an issue with communication that stems from my being extremely stubborn and independent. Unless I am completely comfortable with someone and have known them for a long time I find it really hard to talk about any problems I might have or to “admit weakness.” I think this comes less from a lack of humility and more from a place of me just wanting to figure things out for myself and do things on my own. So, in student teaching, I have found that I have often tried to figure things out for myself and my cooperating teacher has been great in giving me the freedom to do that. However, being the complex and sometimes confusing person that I am, I also need to be pressed into communicating if or when I have a problem. It’s not even that I think I’m perfect or that I want to appear perfect to someone else, I just tend to think that nothing is a big enough deal that I can’t deal with it on my own. I kind of had a breakthrough in my own self-reflection over the past 2 days and I have realized that talking about a problem actually makes life so much easier once I force myself to do it – a good lesson for not just student teaching but my life in general! I admit that I haven’t done great with demonstrating this disposition to my cooperating teacher but, after having been forced into asking for help (which I’m grateful for), I think it will be much easier for me to open communication even more with him in the future.
ReplyDeleteI don’t think I have a problem in the area of “humility” but of course I still get nervous that I’m not doing well enough because this student teaching is, to me, the definition of a “high-stakes assessment”! And we all know what can happen when students are under those kinds of pressures! Also stemming from my chronic stubbornness is a tendency to initially get very defensive about things, but I usually take a few hours or a day (sometimes longer) and can eventually get to the point where I can look at the situation from a neutral standpoint and see where I went wrong. Whenever there has been an issue in class, I feel like I have been able to accept fault or blame when needed. Again, going back to the complexities of human beings – I never like to admit that I need help but I never have a problem admitting where I went wrong after the fact. It’s weird, I know.
My biggest goal for my first year(s) of teaching is, in addition to working on classroom management, to take advantage of any and all support offered by the administration and faculty. I can picture myself being that new teacher who has friendships with other teachers but who never discusses what actually goes on in my classroom – and I don’t want that to happen! I want to be the kind of person who finds it easy to ask for help and I really want to work hard to make sure I can do that (and soon), because I will inevitably need it. Maybe I’ll just ask for help from someone at least once a day so I can get used to saying the words!
Wow. I am blown away by these thoughtful, honest, and, well, humble responses. Thank you, Tracy and Katherine. Teaching is a mirror...a sort of magnifying mirror where your whole self and being is challenged and, perhaps, called into question. You've both given us great reflective models to follow here, and I want so very much for all of you to hang on to the spirit of this: "a safe haven for admitting weakness and asking for help." Teaching is learning is teaching is learning.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to hearing (reading) others' voices, too.
I woke up this morning worried about using the word "Humility" in this thread. Humility during student teaching, to me, means that you are not so arrogant as to think that you can handle everything as a novice. It also means that you are willing and able to admit when you've been defeated or when you need help. Teaching is humbling in many ways, and I guess I want each of you to feel that "humbling" power of teaching.
ReplyDeleteBUT, if you go to the dictionary, you'll see that "Humility" can also mean meekness, submissiveness, and lowliness. I need you to know that those connotations do not apply so easily here because, as you know, while you are being humble you also need to assert yourself, be dominant in the classroom (or at least enough to get folks' attention) and be mildly aggressive to get what you want out of your students and from your workplace.
So, please think about Humility as "humble." How has teaching humbled you?
Wow, I do so wonder where this is all coming from but as I can only speak for myself, I will try to articulate how I feel about humility in its best form. I feel that i could not feel more humble about teaching. Truly, I sometimes feel that I have no idea what the heck I am doing and then I will have that class in which everything falls together and I remember why I am here. This has been, in all honesty, the most difficult and challenging thing that I have aver done in my long life. I am seriously humbled by the knowledge and experience of the other teachers at NP high and therefore I pick their brains all the time, especially my co-op teacher. I am also fortunate to really trust Stacey in many ways and I greatly admire her teaching style. I have had a few problems with a particular girl in one of my classes and I have been seeking out help and advice from anyone who will listen (and believe me some teachers can't be bothered with a lowly student teacher such as myself)but I still ask. It has been my experience over my many years of life that the squeaky wheel does get the grease so I have learned to squeak. I need help!!! I most likely always will but it doesn't make me weak, it actually makes me stronger because I am more informed and can make better decisions as a teacher and a person. I do admit that I sometimes fall by the wayside in communicating with you Dr. Cook but by no means is it because I think that I am "all set" or That I am above it all, it is honestly because I am exhausted as I am sure you all are. I am extremely aware of my weaknesses and that is surely one of the biggies so I will step it up and set aside some energy when I get home to blog and e-mail.
ReplyDeleteI do feel that it is a fine line between showing confidence (which we are constantly asked to do) and showing humility (which we are not often asked to do) and getting the right balance to succeed. I find myself questioning what each person wants from me and when they want it. I am often confused and that is when I give up guessing and just trust in being myself. It seems to work best in the classroom and in my life in general so I will do my best and just keep trying to improve upon myself as a person and let that spill over onto everything that I touch. Laughing at myself is a skill that I have developed over time and I feel (not to be full of myself) that it is a skill that I have gotten quite good at. I would like to leave this blog on a positive note because I am going to serve 800 lobsters in about an hour. I will challenge myself and have fun no matter what I do or I will stop doing it and try something else. Life is just too damn short! See you all later.
Nicole,
ReplyDeleteNo need to read into things too much here. This thread is coming from me and from knowing that this is the end of the line. When I send you on your way in a few weeks, I want to know that I have done everything I can to make sure you are the most thoughtful, reflective, passionate teachers you can be, and part of this is needing to take stock of what's been happening with you this semester. It just so happens that many if not all of the complexities that have arisen so far in everyone's experiences have something to do with these two principles we are discussing here. (I'm a researcher...it's second nature for me to see patterns and themes in what I experience.)
I think you touch on a really important point in your post: Seeking balance.
You also touch on another principle that demonstrates humility: Laughing at yourself.
Both of these are qualities that you should incorporate into your teaching philosophy. Both of these qualities are SO YOU.
Thank you for blogging and for contributing your voice to this forum! I've missed hearing your written perspectives here.
Things get harder, not easier, as we approach the end. The stakes get raised and final assessments and deadlines make the tension palpable. I hope we can figure out a way to survive this together and in tact! Follow my lead...
I don't like thinking about endings...
ReplyDeleteBut, I will say, Dr. Cook, that you have prepared us better than anyone else ever could have. You rock. Of course we will survive together and in tact!!! And we will follow your lead.
Oh, and as far as the question about goals for our first year teaching? I say one goal we should all have is staying in touch and trying to get together when we can. I love our cohort--and you have all helped me to grow as a teacher more than you will ever know!!! I can't imagine my first year teaching without being able to bouce ideas off of all of you every once in a while. So long live "Dr. Cook and the Lucky Seven!"
Well, we all know that I often boast about how I am just simply awesome and I rock at all times...but I hope that you all know me well enough by now, considering the amount of countless hours that we've spent together in not only Practicum but also in other Ed and Eng classes, to know that I simply state those things for one main reason--to get us to laugh. While it's true that I do have a relatively high sense of self-esteem (which I think is in NO WAY a bad/negative thing), I am definitely a humble person and I believe that I possess a good amount of humility, both in my professional life and in my personal life. I believe that I can't not be humble in our line of work. I know that there will be many days that, as a teacher, I will simply feel defeated--that one student I am rooting for fails a test despite the extra help I gave him or another simply steps over the "me teacher, you student" line and makes me feel like an idiot or a girl in the back of the class will inform me that I forgot to add an apostrophe before the "s"--in front of my professor as she observes me for the 2nd time... In these instances I need a little bit of humility to help me remember that even though I am a teacher, I am still only human. I make mistakes. Despite my best efforts (and believe me, with my type-A personality this is a pill to swallow) I am not perfect. And speaking of perfection, I don’t think it’s a bad idea to strive for perfection—I mean, I can always be better. I can always learn from my mistakes, and strive to make the next time better. Striving for perfection to me means pushing myself to do better, do more…I just have to keep in mind that I can’t let myself be consumed/overwhelmed by this determination. And, by the way, this is one of my weaknesses. I know it. I own it.
ReplyDeleteAs for communication, I feel very much the same way Nicole Lachapelle and Tracy feel—I am very lucky that I have a cooperating teacher that I can talk to, ask for help and most importantly, trust. I feel as though Rita is the absolute best fit for me and I can’t imagine my student-teaching experience without her. She’s supportive, observant and encouraging. We speak daily and I know that I can go to her if I have any problems, questions or thoughts. That being said, I am also lucky enough to not have had any major problems this semester during my student-teaching experience. In fact, the one issue that I did have, I communicated with her immediately and we handled it together, cooperatively. I also discussed it with Kathryn and the Nicoles, in a voicemail to Dr. Cook and on the blog. I think that this alone shows that I am not afraid to seek help when I find myself in over my head. This particular situation upset me highly, but talking about it with Rita and my NPHS student-teaching cohorts made me feel much better and allowed me to see that I was right to be upset and right to conduct my class the way I did that day. Without their imput, their thoughts on the situation, I definitely would have been defeated that day…
P.S. I am so not perfect that I forgot the word "hard" in the cliche that I used in my post...
ReplyDeleteFirst, I want to say that Kathryn is in so many ways my blog twin - she's like the taller, prettier twin who is in all honors classes and varsity sports, and my only extracurricular activities involve napping and ice cream. So - I second every last word of Kathryn's post. I also know that I don't communicate when I feel like I've been a disappointment, which is ridiculous; I never considered that this quality finds roots in a lack of humility (in the good sense - but definitely in the bad sense, however), which is also ridiculous. I tend to feel like I don't want to bother anybody, so instead I flounder til I'm drowning, and end up wasting tax dollars on emergency responders. I know I tend to think that I control my universe, when that has been proven rarely to be the case. But between this blog and the last, this experience has frustrated me most because the ideals I'd hoped to practice have faltered. And I think I've been too independent, as in not reaching out earlier and for more of the concrete direction that I complained I and my co-op teacher lacked. I don't know why I thought I'd be able to create it for myself, when all the while that's what I knew I was looking for from this experience. I know that I will persevere and I will be stronger for this knowledge, and I know we all definitely need to give ourselves a break. I -will- make mistakes, and the kids -won't- suffer for the rest of their lives because Ms. Kindle threw all this figurative language crap at them when all they wanted was to keep track of the 5-W's of the play.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, like any ending relationship, I'm considering many of my circumstances in terms of "Oh well; now I know for the next one not to ____." I look at every day, every class period like this. And I hate this, but I might as well admit it - I'm trying to give my co-op teacher more of what he wants from me. I'm trying to please him by making sacrifices and keeping my mouth shut. This is not easy, and in the past has led to trouble with him. I just want what is best for the students, I just want to know that they are learning. I am feeling focused and passionate about helping them learn and however I can make that happen, I am wholly committed.
Dr. Cook,
ReplyDeleteI hear you!! I appreciate your comments and that you care enough to be aggravated by my lack of communication. I feel like I have so many balls in the air (as I'm sure everyone else does) so sometimes I want to hide instead of blog or plan and e-mail you. I will however from now on be aware that I am not the only person that has a stake in my future. If I fail then in a way you do too and I will not let that happen. I have been blessed with a great student teaching experience from top to bottom. I have had and feel that I always will have so much support from everyone involved in this experience. Sometimes I have doubts about what I am doing but then I talk with Howard and he always tells me to persevere. He also says that nothing worth having is easy (he really is a very intelligent boy even though he eats Q-tips on a daily basis) so I move on with determination and who knows, maybe someday I will be good enough to teach someone else how to teach and find their own way as you and Stacey have done for me.
On a sidebar, I am going to find my own "Uncle Joe" to get me through and I may try the Netty-pot too someday although I do not prefer to leak water out of my nose every time I lower my head. Oh and I think I will whoop your butt in an intense game of Penny-can when we are done being professor and student.
See you soon!
I want to check in with everyone by saying I have read everyone posts. I have had a long week trying to work through a cold and keep my energy up in the classroom. I didn't want you girls to think I was ignoring this post but I needed to get through the week in order to put everything aside and focus mainly on this discussion. I have to say it's something I have been thinking about and am finding it difficult to express, not sure why. But I will visit the blog again this weekend and be sure to post my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteCommunication and humility are two key words I have focused on throughout this semester of student teaching. As most of you girls know I had a difficult time when I began taking over the senior class at North Providence. I went into the semester with some confidence believing I was prepared and organized and new I had all the tools to work with – it was just learning when to use the tools I learned I was unsure of. But when it was time for me to apple my knowledge to a real life classroom I struggled and I continued to struggle right through my first observation. This made me extremely nervous – I felt like I was failing in my final semester of college. The only way I was able to work through this struggle was by communicating with Janine, Melissa, Dr. Cook, and my fabulous fellow student teachers. Communicating with these smart mentors / educators through multiple emails, conversations, and even text messages I was able to work on my weaknesses and strengthen my strengths. Realizing the process of reflecting on my teaching practices is an ongoing evaluation that will never be perfected but simply worked on and revised for as long as I am in the classroom. Not only does this practice or outlook on teaching help with my profession but it is a great way of loving and learning through life. Through this mini crisis during the first few weeks of student teaching I learned the most valuable lesson – communicating ideas, issues, or concerns with other members in the school community is the number one “commandment” when entering the world of teaching. Communication cannot be spelled without the word community and to build a healthy and respectful community, communication is a key.
ReplyDeleteHumility almost goes hand in hand with my experience with communication. My level of humility was to an extreme but an extreme on a lower level. I was almost too insecure when I began teaching that I second-guessed my ability to teach altogether. The saying “you’re your own worst critic” described my level of confidence to perfection. I wouldn’t see my teaching in a positive light even if I tried. Which I think is almost just as bad as thinking I mastered the skill. I was constantly thinking my cooperating teachers were not pleased with my performance and a large part of this was pressuring myself and holding myself to high expectations, wanting to excel for Janine and to show her I can do this! A good letter of recommendation from her would not only serve as a great reference to schools but would serve as such an accomplishment just for myself. My level of humility also had to do with my whole sheriff’s badge analogy.
As I entered my middle school placement I am able to see my level of humility equal out. I haven’t been making myself sick over every weakness I needed to work on but I am also able to recognize my weaknesses and work towards strengthening them. But on the other hand I’m not taking my strengths and boasting about them. I use my strengths I have to keep me balanced and to stabilize myself as a person. Also keeping in mind that my strengths can always improve and the phrase “life long learner” is not only printed in the RIC handbook as a part of our discourse when we entered the program but a phrase that has carried through each of my education courses and a second “commandment” to live by as a teacher.
I just wrote a long post and bumped the escape key! Anyway - I just wanted to thank everyone for these posts lately. I think I was feeling behind all of you, bereft of inspiration and frustrated by failing to live up to my own expectations. I feel a lot better now knowing that this experience has been as worthwhile as any for the lessons I've learned, from both the hard-knocks and the (often deceptively) smooth sailing. Nicole, your post I find especially heartening with its message of perseverence and autonomy - to me it serves as a hopeful final chapter of this particular entry. These were awesome, and every day I have been visiting to read all your words to remind myself of the value intrinsically yielded by every step of this experience.
ReplyDelete